The Doctor Of Babel

Here is the shortest possible health questionnaire, in fourteen different languages, with text and audio files by native speakers. There are only thirteen expressions:
Hello / Goodbye
What is the problem?
Yes, no
Fever
Pain
Here (a part of the body)
Respiration
Urine
Stool
Diarrhea
Vomit
Blood
Pregnant

This simple list enables me to diagnose and treat the most common ailments, anywhere in the world where these languages are spoken.

Dr. Steve Ballou
Dept. of Family Medicine
University of Ottawa
Canada